tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224371597574786668.post4669584580100920627..comments2023-08-06T08:48:02.347+01:00Comments on Spring: The Four Seasons of Haikuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12478161106526373316noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224371597574786668.post-17449399534264765062011-05-05T13:59:43.102+01:002011-05-05T13:59:43.102+01:00It is, indeed...;-)It is, indeed...;-)Wahyu W. Basjirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04260428377205211034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224371597574786668.post-1794648840768535782011-05-05T12:04:58.739+01:002011-05-05T12:04:58.739+01:00Excellent editing! ;-)
all my best,
Alan
Cities ...Excellent editing! ;-)<br /><br />all my best,<br /><br />Alan<br /><a href="http://area17.blogspot.com" rel="nofollow">Cities of Green Leaves Ginko-no-Kukai</a><br /><br />.Area 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224371597574786668.post-89572795531781367042011-05-04T17:08:49.347+01:002011-05-04T17:08:49.347+01:00Thank you, Alan. I will revise the text as you sug...Thank you, Alan. I will revise the text as you suggested.<br /><br />WWBWahyu W. Basjirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04260428377205211034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224371597574786668.post-70015199321699357282011-05-04T13:21:31.421+01:002011-05-04T13:21:31.421+01:00I really like this haibun. ;-)
Just a few suggest...I really like this haibun. ;-)<br /><br />Just a few suggestions.<br /><br /><br />Table manners<br /><br />I was probably the clumsiest among others in my family at holding the spoon and fork. Unlike Mom, Dad, my sisters and brothers, I held the cutlery like holding a knife, instead of the way I took a grip on a pen. We didn't use a knife to savour a dish.<br /><br />"Use your bare hands," my Mom said almost each and every evening when we had dinner with the whole family. "Wash them first before you start," my Mom added and moved a ceramic bowl of water towards me for hand washing.<br /><br />family dinner<br />chinese dancer dances<br />in my bowl<br /><br />Just incorporating indefinite and definite articles (a & the). Plus a continuity in the tenses.<br /><br />Excellent concluding haiku by the way! ;-)<br /><br />Alan<br /><b><i>Cities in Green Leaves Kukai:</i></b> <a href="http://area17.blogspot.com" rel="nofollow">weblink</a><br /><br />.Area 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.com