..hi diana l.>....this is a remarkable haiku..but myself, i never boughtthis Western Haiku argument that removing articles strenghtens a haiku..i easily see:and my face gladensrising arc of yellowa daffodil smileor even:and my face gladensa rising arc of yellowthis daffodil smile-----------..but please forgive my rambling..for i love your haiku....spiros-------
Thank you both. And I don't view it as rambling at all, Spiros. Actually, I tend to think in implied dashes (as if there would be a dash after "yellow" in this particular case) versus in articles. It's not an intentional thing, and some haiku poets on this site advise me often to use them more, so you're in good company. :)
..thanks diana..i think i was always aware of intended dashes but now i'll be even more sensetive to catch them..but we must always dwell on the overall harmony/melody and wonder if an indefinite article will better serve a poem'slyricism..but the poem above is clear evidence thata poem may magnificently sing with intended dashes..spiros----------
..oops, i meant to say "implied"..: a poem may magnificently sing withimplied dashes..!..spiros------------
Thank you, Spiros.
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