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Tiring the heart--
mountains and ocean
too much beauty

---Santōka
____________________________
mid shift break-
the sound of pelting rain
comes through a back door

4 comments:

Alan Summers said...

I like this but you don't need so many verbs:

mid shift break-
the sound of pelting rain
comes through a back door

TO:

mid-shift break
the sound of pelting rain
through a back door

Love the sound of rain! ;-)

Alan

Reihaisha said...

Thanks for the tweaking Alan

Dennis Tomlinson said...

From one verb to no verb! I have the feeling that the rain is welcome after a dry spell - or am I just thinking of southern England at the moment?

Alan Summers said...

I kind of like "pelting" which doubles up as a useful adjective as well as a verb. ;-)

There are so many different kinds of rain, and this brings back certain memories, whilst just plain rain doesn't zero in to any of them.

Alan
Cities in Green Leaves Ginko-no-Kukai and competition: area 17
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