HomeWhat is Haiku?SpringSummerAutumnWinter News & EventsContact

Tiring the heart--
mountains and ocean
too much beauty

---Santōka
____________________________
Table manners

I was probably the clumsiest among others in my family at holding the spoon and fork. Unlike Mom, Dad, my sisters and brothers, I held the cutlery like holding a knife, instead of the way I took a grip on a pen. We didn't use a knife to savour a dish.

"Use your bare hands," my Mom said almost each and every evening when we had dinner with the whole family. "Wash them first before you start," my Mom added and moved a ceramic bowl of water towards me for hand washing.

family dinner
chinese dancer dances
in my bowl


Adab di meja makan

Dibanding anak-anak lainnya dalam keluarga kami, mungkin aku yang paling canggung menggunakan sendok dan garpu. Selalu saja aku memegang sepasang alat itu dengan cara yang aneh. Aku memegang sendok dan garpu seperti aku memegang pisau, bukan pena. Padahal, kami tak pernah menggunakan pisau untuk makan.

“Gunakan saja kedua tanganmu, tapi jangan lupa cuci dulu,” kata ibu.

makan malam
penari china menari
di kobokanku

4 comments:

Alan Summers said...

I really like this haibun. ;-)

Just a few suggestions.


Table manners

I was probably the clumsiest among others in my family at holding the spoon and fork. Unlike Mom, Dad, my sisters and brothers, I held the cutlery like holding a knife, instead of the way I took a grip on a pen. We didn't use a knife to savour a dish.

"Use your bare hands," my Mom said almost each and every evening when we had dinner with the whole family. "Wash them first before you start," my Mom added and moved a ceramic bowl of water towards me for hand washing.

family dinner
chinese dancer dances
in my bowl

Just incorporating indefinite and definite articles (a & the). Plus a continuity in the tenses.

Excellent concluding haiku by the way! ;-)

Alan
Cities in Green Leaves Kukai: weblink

.

Wahyu W. Basjir said...

Thank you, Alan. I will revise the text as you suggested.

WWB

Alan Summers said...

Excellent editing! ;-)

all my best,

Alan
Cities of Green Leaves Ginko-no-Kukai

.

Wahyu W. Basjir said...

It is, indeed...;-)