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Tiring the heart--
mountains and ocean
too much beauty

---Santōka
____________________________
already warm
children pass in just their shirts
swathes of crocuses

4 comments:

Alan Summers said...

I do like this, and the "link" with texture i.e. "shirts" and "swathes", and its alliteration.

already warm
children pass in just their shirts
swathes of crocuses


e.g.

I wonder if you could play around with the order of the lines?

swathes of crocuses
children pass
in just their shirts


all my best,

Alan
Alan’s Area 17 blog
.

Kelly said...

I like this, the color (and maybe movement, too) that is implied here. The newness of life. Nice image!

Alan Summers said...

It's great, isn't it? I just feel it needs more kireji.

Alan

Leatherdykeuk said...

Thank you Alan. Insightful as ever.