I do like this, and the "link" with texture i.e. "shirts" and "swathes", and its alliteration.already warmchildren pass in just their shirtsswathes of crocuses e.g.I wonder if you could play around with the order of the lines?swathes of crocuses children pass in just their shirtsall my best,AlanAlan’s Area 17 blog.
I like this, the color (and maybe movement, too) that is implied here. The newness of life. Nice image!
It's great, isn't it? I just feel it needs more kireji.Alan
Thank you Alan. Insightful as ever.
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