already warm
children pass in just their shirts
swathes of crocuses
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Tiring the heart--
mountains and ocean
too much beauty
---Santōka
mountains and ocean
too much beauty
---Santōka
____________________________
Spring Haiku
Author Archive
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4 comments:
I do like this, and the "link" with texture i.e. "shirts" and "swathes", and its alliteration.
already warm
children pass in just their shirts
swathes of crocuses
e.g.
I wonder if you could play around with the order of the lines?
swathes of crocuses
children pass
in just their shirts
all my best,
Alan
Alan’s Area 17 blog
.
I like this, the color (and maybe movement, too) that is implied here. The newness of life. Nice image!
It's great, isn't it? I just feel it needs more kireji.
Alan
Thank you Alan. Insightful as ever.
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